I just wrote a note to a friend who is getting married.  Others have enjoyed it when I’ve shared it verbally, I’m hoping the sarcasm translates to the written version…

Several years ago when I was married some friends from church had a game night.  Mark (husband) and I got the high score and grand prize – a book about marriage called “Love and Respect”.  I was like, well it’s the thought that counts, but I’m fine, and I don’t need to change a thing.  I did the logical thing and put the book straight on the shelf fully knowing I had not a thing to change.  I probably kept it in case Mark would ever need to refer to it.

A few years later Mark died and I had a lot of friends around.  This book (that I never read) from the past kept coming up randomly.

One day a friend was talking about her marriage and like a light bulb turning in the middle of the night it occurred to me that I had a great resource that could help her.  So, I gave her the book, still knowing that loving and respecting people (especially men) had no direct application to me.

This summer there were some changes with my women’s Bible study and me moving.  I’ve had it on my heart recently that I should take the Little Farmer to Wednesday night Bible study at our church.

It rained today, so we weren’t helping in the field, and I really had no good excuse not to do what my heart was telling me – take us to church.

I dropped the Little Farmer off with the other kids and I was two or a few minutes late to the adult session which I expected to be downstairs, because that’s where it was a couple years ago when I dropped in.  Somebody told me adults were upstairs.  I wondered if the preacher was on vacation or what was causing the change.

Yep, I sat down to the opener of a six week series from Dr. Emerson Eggerich – on Love and Respect.  Guess what, he wrote a book too.

Funny thing – my preacher has been talking about this special study inviting everybody for WEEKS.  And I completely forgot – because, remember, it doesn’t apply to me!

I’ve even had a good friend go the conference and talk about how life changing it is and how much the principles they teach would help me get along better with all men.  But I thought if my son, dad and boss don’t also hear it how will they change?

I’ve been studying something Biblical for nearly five years straight, yet I’ve successfully avoided the relationship strengthener “Love & Respect.”


Now that the opening principal has been freshly reinforced I’d like to share it:

Each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:33

In summary – men need respect and women need love.  I’d share more, but there’s already a book about it.  If you do read it drop me a line if any of it applies to me.

6 thoughts on “Two Qualities I’ve Worked Hard to Avoid…”

  1. Someone gave us this book when we got married, but I have not read it myself……probably because it doesn’t apply to me either! 🙂 However, you’ve peaked my interest.

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