Category Archives: Faith

Why Should I Go To Church?

06 Wednesday Apr 2016

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I’ve been offended going to church with my husband.  He’s been offended at the church I used to go to.  We’re not often offended by the messages, it’s typically the people. They say and do some of the darnedest things to unintentionally turn us away.  We could list the wrongs and find people to rally around the cause, but we think the time and energy is better spent sharing the good.

We understand that we’re all human which means Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  We understand that we are some of those imperfect humans with flaws, so we try to extend grace to those people that may rub us the wrong way and keep going.  We also understand that we would miss out on so much, and so many people would miss us if we didn’t go to church.

Here’s a couple reasons to overcome some of those frustrations and go back to church:

1 – We do fun stuff at church.  This summer my Little Farmer went to Vacation Bible School in the evenings and the theme was about climbing Mount Everest.  So he and some friends dressed up like mountain climbers one evening.

why should i go to church

You can see by the bibs he’s wearing that whatever the task at hand he still thinks about farming.  They had a lot of fun pretending, learning and playing.  And VBS was free!

church is fun

Church is fun!

2 – My biggest challenges in life are not the actual tasks that I’m assigned to do, rather understanding how to work and communicate with people to effectively get them done.  My Little Farmer is learning some of these skills at church.  Even though he reads scripture at church that we’ve already read at home, there is value in group study.  I recall lessons from other people (not my parents or family) that really stuck with me throughout life.  The more positive people, positive exposure and positive connections that my Little Farmer can have the better!

3 – My biggest challenges in life are not the actual tasks that I’m assigned to do, rather understanding how to work and communicate with people to effectively get them done.  I learn how to do better in these situations when I really open up my heart and mind and apply what I learn at church.  Sure I want my kid to learn and do better, but I can’t minimize the tremendous personal growth that I’ve had gathering with others either!

4 – God created a tremendous support system.  When you attend church regularly, interact with the same group of people, and build relationships over time, they’ll start to notice if you’re missing church.  And they may check up on you.  They may ask about your struggles and be a friend.  They may be able to offer help.  As you grow and are strengthened, you can return the same favor to other people.  Church is a great place to foster the chain of love.  I’ve personally experienced great help and love from the support system at church!

5 – Last, but certainly not least, is the eternal perspective.  Attending church helps me keep my life in perspective.  Worship helps me remember what a small part of a big plan that I am.  I learn how big our God really is.  I learn about eternity.

How To Help a Friend or Family Member Who is Grieving

22 Sunday Nov 2015

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A tragic loss is difficult in many different ways for many different people.  Of course the loss is most difficult for the people closest to the deceased person.

Here are three key ways that you help a grieving person:

Prayer – As someone who has suffered loss and experienced God’s healing, I’m confident that prayer is the most life-changing gift that you can offer.

Finances – If the family has immediate needs like food, mortgage, childcare, diapers, etc. and you are able to help with that please do so.

Time – Time is also a treasured gift that can help ease the pain.  How can you give of your time to help your friend or family member?

Here are some specific personal examples:

I have been blessed to have the love, help and support of many people.  I often see in mind’s eye the faces of those who gave and invested so much in helping me heal.  I’d like to share some of the stories in hopes that you pick up an idea on how to help others.

A handful of people showed up to my house the morning right after the accident.  I’m confident it was very difficult for them to come, but they did.  They insisted on being there and helping.  Some friends cleaned the hard water stains out of my shower.  Later they sorted through pictures to display during the calling hours and went shopping to find clothes that would fit me for the calling hours and funeral.  There were several phone calls and decisions that having trustworthy friends right there to help take care of for me was a huge help.

Think about what you can do to make that person’s life a little easier.  People dropped off paper plates, cups, disposable silverware, diapers, formula, really good chocolate and some high quality food.  It was helpful to have immediate needs met.  These are some of the items that made life a little easier.

Wise people simply asked what I needed.  There were many times right away after our unexpected loss where I just didn’t know.  When people asked me a couple different times I knew they were serious and that I could call on them later as I figured out what I needed.

When my grandmother passed away a family friend sent a card full of stamps to use on thank you notes in lieu of flowers.  I thought that was very kind.  I’ve also appreciated people that have sent stones with a nice saying, or some sort of treasured keepsake as opposed to flowers.

The biggest immediate need was for prayer.  I know that people prayed for us:

-To have the strength that we needed to get through each day

-To feel God’s love

-To keep faith

-To be able to make wise decisions as needed

-To be able to take care of baby Henry

-To have hope and know that we have a future

-For God to put a hedge of protection around our lives

-For critical relationships that change with the loss of a life

-For financial needs to be met

-For us not to feel alone and much, much more

What do I say to a grieving person?  “I’m sorry for your loss and I’m praying for you.”

Please don’t avoid facing the grieving family because you don’t know what to say.  Presence is powerful, you don’t have to give a speech.  Think of something short and sweet ahead of time to say that you care.  Scripture never fails.  These are one example of why it’s important to know and memorize scripture.  There are times when there are no human words and scripture is so comforting.

A dear friend shared that my goal was to be “healthy and whole” again.  She came to my house, brought salads from Wendy’s, helped me clean, she prayed fervently with and for me.  She encouraged me to call with any questions and I did.

Life goes on and so can your encouragement.  Your life may return to normal quickly, but the grieving people’s live have been forever changed.  Think about ways that you can help show love, through a written note, a meal, a small gift, a surprise visit.  Make a note on your calendar 3 months and 13 months out to remind you to show that you care.

a healing family

A dear friend babysat Henry some while I transitioned back to work. She took and shared this pic one day when I picked him up. I’m glad I have a nice picture of us together at this stage.

This Thanksgiving week I’m so thankful for all of those people that have invested in me and helped be become healthy and whole.  Without love, prayer, help and healing I wouldn’t be able to experience the fullness and joy of life on earth that I am now.

Tips For Tough Conversations About Food, Farming & Faith

12 Monday Oct 2015

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My job at the Ohio Pork Council has led to good things like access to many meals of properly cooked pork, a bi-weekly pay check and my recent marriage to Joe, aka the Turkey Farmer.  He is amazing!

turkey farmer promotes pork

Prior to our arranged marriage I was told that “he’s shy.” Look at him! He talks about farming and how to cook pork to princesses, cow girls, mothers, children, aunts, sisters, grandmas, daughters, etc. If Mr. “Shy” can talk agriculture to strangers you can too!

We’ve had some differences to work through, like living two hours apart, as in who would move and change jobs and food preferences like turkey versus pork (just kidding, we NEVER fight about protein, we just eat it).  Another topic of much discussion is we’re both Christians, but one of us attended a Protestant Church and the other a Catholic Church.

The two of us made the moving decision on our own; this was a big decision, but one that we were equipped to work through together.  The protein drama is purely make-believe.  Making a decision about church for our family has taken study, time, thought and prayer.  We spent a lot of time reading while dating and learning from others whom we trust and respect.

I can draw so many parallels between much of what I’ve learned regarding church to a person who has suddenly become more interested in food.  Circumstances in people’s life change, possibly health status changes, or family size changes, or someone develops a hobby or interest in food and cooking.  These reasons might prompt a person to study and learn more about their food and the food system in the United States.

An unexpected relationship sparked a great deal of honest inquiry in my life into a very personal topic.

We’ve asked questions and listened.  We’ve worked to actively listen and understand the new acronyms and how different study group opportunities (outside of regular worship) work.   After doing some homework the next step was a meeting to learn with church staff to learn more.

The meeting was held.  There was brief and calm sharing, some questions were exchanged and some concerns were shared.

A response was given that included a suggestion that one of our past upbringings was “unfortunate” and “incomplete”.  There were also misconceptions addressed that neither of us harbored.

Discussion resulted in confusion.  That conversation did not grow our interest in participating or supporting this group.  We had done homework, we’d genuinely tried to learn, and the meeting was held with the intention to put effort into learning more.  Yet, this conversation did not bring any more clarity to our lives.

I’m grateful for the deep rooted faith and personal experiences that we each have which were not swayed by a single conversation. We’ve learned and grown in our faith, I wish the same for you.

I could look back and critique every aspect of my life and find many faults.  Being wrong often, has been part of my human experience, so I’m not upset at this person.  I truly believe this conversation became tough because of deep personal beliefs that could’ve been better communicated to bridge the gap between us and them.

I think many of us can really feel empathy and wonder how this happened.  How could someone called to love people come across so cold and disconnected?

How often do we as farmers, confident in what we do, why we do it and how we do it inadvertently talk to our customers just to leave them more confused?  How often do we as farmers so often unintentionally come across as cold and disconnected to the people that buy our products?  When the answer to a question is so obvious that it’s just silly, how do we respond?  Do we invest enough time to really think through a sincere and honest answer?  I’ve found the people asking (the same people that buy what we grow) just honestly want to know what we’re doing and why and how that may affect their body.

There was no personal harm meant by disagreeing in our discussion, and there’s rarely that intention when food is the hot topic.

I’m writing this for the purpose of learning.  We’re all human, and we all have opportunities to improve.

Here are some tips that could improve our future conversations about food and farming:

-Know what you do on the farm and be able to talk about it in very simple terms

-Know what you believe and be able to share from your personal experiences

-Think of each person as valuable and worth the time to talk or type with

sandwich shop

The turkey farmer talking to the owners of a sandwich shop in the suburbs that serve the turkey his family grows. He shared his background and they had a great conversation.

Those of us involved in production agriculture have heard that we are less than 2% of the US population.  We know that we need to do more to tell our story, the story of our food, our family farms, the land, etc.

My hope is that the non-farming public would feel good about eating after talking to a farmer.

I’ve worked to improve how I share my personal story.  I’m nowhere close to having all the answers, but I truly believe having genuine conversations is worthy of our time and beneficial for our future.

Worrying About the Mud Hole

18 Sunday May 2014

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The Little Farmer has come to me many times in the past few days to discuss this mud hole in the driveway.

mud hole

Having fun in the mud during the fall of 2013

The primary concern is that people will think the muddy area is part of the driveway. After all there are tire tracks visible in the wet soil, so somebody (other than him) clearly drove through believing that it was the driveway. Don’t you dare blow this situation off, because it’s in the forefront of that little brain continuously.

I’ve tried to explain that it’s not really a big deal, maybe it was farm equipment that is wider than the driveway, or maybe someone wasn’t putting their full focus into staying in the center of the driveway and inadvertently made tracks in the hole. No matter how many times I tell the Little Farmer this is not a real problem and does not matter he can’t divert his focus.

I looked out the door one of those days and he was very seriously trying to outline the problem to my dad. His effort to recruit a sympathizer failed.

As I tried for what felt like the eighth time to explain that this “huge problem” wasn’t really a problem at all it hit me…this must be how God looks at many of our “problems”. He wants us to talk to Him, give our problems to Him, and then listen and know that He will take care of us. He doesn’t want us to focus on our worries like this boy has his mud hole.

The new perspective got better when I remembered that it was the Little Farmer himself who dug that hole. He spent hours using as much equipment as he could find. He became so engrossed in the enjoyment of creating the mud puddle last fall. I asked him multiple times to stop doing that.

Isn’t it ironic that he was oblivious to creating a problem just six months ago that he is agonizing over now?

While driveway puddles are a pretty straightforward mess to clean up, not all of our worries are. Our problems may require manual labor in conditions that aren’t pleasant.

fixing a puddle

Fixing another puddle in the driveway in March 2014.

Figurative mud holes take prayer and repentance. Prompted by a Bible Study and conversations with other Christians I’ve recently been prompted to repent and change. Change and the work to implement it are NOT easy. The reward, my spirit is glad to have a cleaner heart, and that is worth the change!

Matthew 6:27 Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Butterflies – Fighting Hunger & Saving People

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

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I was coerced into going to a Women of Faith weekend event a few years back. My favorite speaker was Andy Andrews, a story teller talking about The Butterfly Effect!

Here are the rough notes I typed from the video I’ll share below: Henry Wallace was Vice President under Roosevelt and a former secretary of ag. He used the power of his position to create a station in Mexico whose sole purpose was to hybridize corn and wheat for arid climates. He hired Norman Borlaug to run it.

Nineteen year old George Washington Carver had a dairy science professor who allowed his six year old boy named Henry Wallace to go on weekend botanical expeditions and learn the importance of plants from Carver.

We can’t stop the story here, you need to know about the Missouri farmer named Moses and his wife Susan who lived in a slave state but didn’t believe in slavery. Raiders drug off a lady, Mary Washington, who wouldn’t let go of her little boy named George. Moses went to a crossroads in Kansas to meet raiders. Moses traded the last horse on his farm for what they threw him in a burlap bag. It held a cold, naked almost dead baby boy. Mr. Carver walked the baby out of the situation and promised him to raise him as his own.

While the details of this story have grown a bit fuzzy in my mind since the Women of Faith event I attended, the bigger meaning has stayed in my heart. We all have a purpose and can be contributing and changing the world around us far more than we can see now by the little things that we do. How about the Washington family doing jobs that can feel monotonous and can lack meaning like changing diapers and cleaning up after a kid? What if they hadn’t done the basic stuff? I love stories where the tedious tasks turn out to be some of the most important things we’ll ever do in our life.

I wrote this post to join the celebration of Norman Borlaug’s 100th birthday.

He is credited with saving two million lives through the course of his research, but look at of the people who contributed to his story!

As I’ve read about him, his granddaughter shares in this article that he would want people to focus on what’s next in terms of feeding a growing population.

I work in agriculture, I continually see restrictions being put on our food production system, but when I have conversations about the bigger picture people sometimes seem to zone out or become disconnected. I think it’s hard to live in the United States with a full belly and think about how our choices might affect someone on the other side of the world in ten years.

No matter your job, you (as a human or “butterfly”) are part of the food equation! You can affect lives by learning about GMOs and the potential they have to help contribute to the growing the hunger problem. You can study whether you want to live in fear at the grocery store, or purchase with confidence. You can be informed about food purchasing decisions and more confident about how you communicate those with others. What if one misinformed comment snowballs through other conversations into a regulation that ends up taking away food from someone on the other side of the world in ten years. You are a part of this. Please learn about what current researchers are doing to address this challenge and think about how you can support that. There certainly are a lot of myths about food that are being propagated.

You have wings that flap, how will you use that power to positively contribute to a growing world?

#Borlaug100

#Borlaug100

Why is Life So Hard?

15 Wednesday Jan 2014

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Does anybody else find it a little easier to get knocked down and feel a little sad this time of year?  Or you start thinking about how you meant to start the New Year with a nice, clean organized house, healthy meal ingredients in the refrigerator, etc., etc.  Then you realize January is half over, your holiday time off from work is over and you didn’t get nearly accomplished what you wanted to at home.

Yeah, that happens to me too.

So one sad feeling can so easily lead to another, then another and then you’ve got this crazy tangled web of feelings that aren’t even related to each other and it all could’ve been stopped.

But how do you stop feelings from spiraling out of control?

If you read on looking for a simple answer you think I’m much smarter than I am, so let’s level with some expectations management here:  There’s a lot that I lack in knowledge, wisdom and general ability, but I compensate by hanging out with people who have more of that stuff than me in hopes that it will wear off on me sometime!

So, I asked a friend recently why life is so hard sometimes and she quickly said, “So that we don’t get so comfortable we just want to hang around here on earth.  We’re supposed to be in the world, not of the world.”

You know with our hearts.  We need to long for eternity, not just be cool with chillin on a dirt road in the back of a pick-up truck like a good country song, properly cooking pork to 145 degrees (still slightly pink in the center because that’s safe and tastes better) or whatever really floats your boat.

Then part of my morning scripture reading today was about what Paul and Barnabas did.  Acts 14:22 …strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith.  “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.

No sugar coating any of this business, life’s challenging for everyone!  It sure does give my extreme Type A personality some peace to know there’s purpose behind everything that happens.

So, hang in there and keep going.  Life isn’t easy, but God made you tough enough to do it.  Focus on Him, eat pork and keep walking!

pigs in heaven

Serious topic, kind of a crazy picture, just laugh and roll with it.  Laughing will make life a little easier🙂

 

2013 Christmas Card Life Update – Plans and changes to them for 2013

20 Friday Dec 2013

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2013 has been a great year!  I’ve been pretty public about the highlights of the year that were planned:  building a house, selling a house and sending the kid to kindergarten.  But as life turns out some unplanned stuff has happened too.

This year I planned to build a house near the livestock, parents, family, corn, soybeans, wheat, hay, etc.

Check – done!

I planned to send the kid to kindergarten, whether he wanted to go or not.

Check – done!

I planned to sell the house we bought ten years ago – And was incredibly blessed to get a really strong offer less than two weeks on the market that closed almost a month before I had to give up possession.  I didn’t even know a deal this good could exist.  I had prayed about this for a while and God took care of that in bigger and better way than I ever imagined!  Check +++!

I planned to help my dad some with harvest.  Another check mark.

And then I planned to sit on my darn couch and rest for a couple months and enjoy all that I ran myself so ragged the entire rest of the year accomplishing…. Until into an awkward (pre-planned by his uncle for well over a year) meeting walked a turkey farmer.

I’m not generally a sappy, emotional, whatever girly person, unless you have a great personal Jesus story or pork cooking experience to share with me because like somebody once said about bronchitis on YouTube “ain’t nobody got time for that!”  I said that so you wouldn’t read on hoping to cry or something ridiculous.

I was invited to a wedding in the turkey farmer’s area.  The bride’s family are bacon and turkey farmers (it’s kind of the thing to do out there).  The specific turkey farmer we’re discussing’s uncle (this uncle loves turkeys more than my kid loves Santa Claus, but is he involved with pigs too – that’s how he knows me) learned of my invitation and insisted that I needed a dance partner.  Feeling VERY awkward about the whole deal I asked him to tell me about this nephew.  All I really got is that he’s shy.  And shyness is what dreams are made of right?

I never got an answer from myself about what was happening in my life, but I thought whatever and rolled with it.

One of the nephew’s co-workers had asked me for a full report post dance partner program.  What do you seriously tell somebody like that?  So the next day I sent him this text, “It was love at first sight, I’m trying to figure out when to quit my job and move.”

He replied, “Oh, okay,” fully knowing I was full of crap – so I hope you readers are picking up the intense sarcasm at this point.

A few days later (I haven’t heard back from the turkey farmer at all, not sure if I’m going to) I get a completely unexpected text from the co-worker “the uncle must think his dance partner program went well because he just fired somebody in the office to make room for you” – My intense sarcasm just got one-upped.  Dang, the poultry fumes must be fueling some good humor in western Ohio.

I obviously heard back from the turkey farmer / dance partner or I wouldn’t be telling you about this would I?

I told him I wasn’t going to post anything about whatever is happening on Facebook until he quit fence sitting with the two proteins and got a pork tattoo.  A friend who knew this joke, I mean story, asked the turkey farmer if he had the tattoo when they met.  The turkey farmer responded, “Yes, but I can’t show you.”

Well the last thing about to happen to me as 2013 winds down is getting duped by a turkey farmer.  He’s got a few brothers, which I don’t know very well, so I debated whether to ask one of them to look for it.  But, then I didn’t know whether to make this request in front of his parents or how that might go over, so I’m just trusting him at this point.  I mean a tattoo can always be added, if needed, maybe even bigger and better as punishment for lying, right?

And all of this after the Little Farmer sends this note from our strictly John Deere loving house to Santa:

Case IH Santa request

What’s going to happen the next time I let him make decisions independently?!?

While we’re all here together disclosing shocking personal information on the internet I might as well admit that pork is a red meat.  Yep, I’ve grown up in a family that made a living from all things red meat (and milk) and I’ve carried on that fine tradition to support my son and me.  So, I guess we’ll all just have to wait with baited breath together and find out how long this deal with a real white meat farmer will last.

No chicken jokes will be approved in the comments.  Remember he’s a turkey farmer!

 

Two Qualities I’ve Worked Hard to Avoid…

16 Wednesday Oct 2013

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I just wrote a note to a friend who is getting married.  Others have enjoyed it when I’ve shared it verbally, I’m hoping the sarcasm translates to the written version…

Several years ago when I was married some friends from church had a game night.  Mark (husband) and I got the high score and grand prize – a book about marriage called “Love and Respect”.  I was like, well it’s the thought that counts, but I’m fine, and I don’t need to change a thing.  I did the logical thing and put the book straight on the shelf fully knowing I had not a thing to change.  I probably kept it in case Mark would ever need to refer to it.

A few years later Mark died and I had a lot of friends around.  This book (that I never read) from the past kept coming up randomly.

One day a friend was talking about her marriage and like a light bulb turning in the middle of the night it occurred to me that I had a great resource that could help her.  So, I gave her the book, still knowing that loving and respecting people (especially men) had no direct application to me.

This summer there were some changes with my women’s Bible study and me moving.  I’ve had it on my heart recently that I should take the Little Farmer to Wednesday night Bible study at our church.

It rained today, so we weren’t helping in the field, and I really had no good excuse not to do what my heart was telling me – take us to church.

I dropped the Little Farmer off with the other kids and I was two or a few minutes late to the adult session which I expected to be downstairs, because that’s where it was a couple years ago when I dropped in.  Somebody told me adults were upstairs.  I wondered if the preacher was on vacation or what was causing the change.

Yep, I sat down to the opener of a six week series from Dr. Emerson Eggerich – on Love and Respect.  Guess what, he wrote a book too.

Funny thing – my preacher has been talking about this special study inviting everybody for WEEKS.  And I completely forgot – because, remember, it doesn’t apply to me!

I’ve even had a good friend go the conference and talk about how life changing it is and how much the principles they teach would help me get along better with all men.  But I thought if my son, dad and boss don’t also hear it how will they change?

I’ve been studying something Biblical for nearly five years straight, yet I’ve successfully avoided the relationship strengthener “Love & Respect.”

GOD HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR!

Now that the opening principal has been freshly reinforced I’d like to share it:

Each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:33

In summary – men need respect and women need love.  I’d share more, but there’s already a book about it.  If you do read it drop me a line if any of it applies to me.

Don’t Despair – There is Goodness Ahead!

21 Wednesday Aug 2013

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Did you ever reach a point in life that you previously thought would be great if you could make it that far?  And then you make it and realize you probably weren’t quite as realistic in that vision as you could’ve been?  Or did part of you wonder if you would ever really make it?

That’s where I sit tonight regarding three topics: 1) moving 2) kindergarten 3) a broken recliner

#1 – Yeah, no kidding.  We sold the house and we’re {supposed to be} moving as I type.  Here’s the view from the new back door.

back yard

back yard

#HugeBlessing yep I just hash tagged that about a view with beef cattle.

#3 – My grandma gave me a recliner about 8 years ago, it’s been great until a month ago.  It quit reclining and now I’m kind of sitting down hill or sideways or something.  Typically when my schedule prevents a good shopping trip it’s because I’m too busy working.  This year it’s been because I’m too busy spending money on the new house to have time to spend money on a new recliner.  And if I get a new one, no point in moving it twice right?  I tell you this in case #2 sounds a little off, yeah, it’s because of the chair that’s a little off.

#2 – If I had a dollar for every time someone told me how quickly the time will go with my growing Little Farmer I might’ve been able to plate the front door gold in the new house.  My gut sinks a little when that phrase is said because I can sharply remember so many days when time didn’t go quickly at all.  Just over five years ago I had an infant, was a new widow and had no idea what the future looked like {I mean who really does}?  Time did NOT go fast long enough to remember the feeling.  I had a friend who committed a significant portion of her life to me for three years to come over and help, clean, cook and encourage me in Jesus.  I remember her saying as I shared desperation that life would be so much better when the Little Farmer was four.  He would be able to get dressed, buckle in the car seat and do more to help himself.  She was right!  The growing independence was huge!  Then as I faced challenges she said life will get a little easier when he’s in school.  Life will be all different in a good way then too.

She’s offered pretty solid advice, so I’ve held on to that.  When parenting has been hard, when the kid tried my nerves and acted super needy I thought of that.  The four year milestone made putting one foot in front of the other easier, so I thought I had it in me to get the kid to school age {Even though at kindergarten screening when he met the teachers all he would say is, “School is yucky!”  And he told me on the way home that he didn’t need to go to school at all because he was just going to farm full-time}.

Bet you saw this coming, but we made it!  The Little Farmer packed his lunch tonight, we dropped off school supplies the other day and he appears to have at least a temporary attitude adjustment about public education.

About a week ago when I began to assume that we would make it, the thought crossed my mind, “What’s next?”.  The answer to that is finish packing, buy a refrigerator, move, unpack, take a nap, cook pork, help with homework?, promote pork, take another nap and have a celebration party sometime.  And try to get the Little Farmer on and off the bus legally, apparently there’s a lot of new laws about this.  Pending success in this area and avoidance of imprisonment I look forward to sharing some updates a bit more often.

Here’s my hope – the promise of seeing better times ahead here on earth!

Psalm 27:13 I would’ve despaired if I did not believe that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living

Remembering Charlie Watkins – Praying for Healing

02 Sunday Jun 2013

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Today I went to the calling hours for Charlie Watkins.  He passed away unexpectedly at the age of 36.  I knew him from working on my family’s farm as I was growing up.  He leaves behind a 3 year old daughter and wife who is the same age as me.  While I don’t know her well I remember first meeting her in 4-H, in the steer barn at the fair I believe, long before she and Charlie knew each other.

My dad shared a memory that he had of Charlie.  He called him “Charlie Horse” because he was a tall, big, strong boy which made him good at manual labor on the farm.  We used to have nursery pig pens at the end of the farrowing house (maternity ward).  When it was weaning time we had a few nursery pens at the end of the barn where the pigs would grow a little longer before moving out to a finishing barn.  These pens were raised a few feet off the ground.  So I remember my mom often climbing in the pens, catching the pigs and lifting them over the top of the gates and handing them out to others.  My dad and the other men would carry one pig in each hand by their back leg (that’s really the correct way to carry a pig).  I remember growing to be big enough to carry one, then struggling to try and keep up with two pigs.  It wasn’t very long after that we built an entire nursery barn which was much more modern and had better equipment.

Since the pens were already a few feet off the ground and the gates were a couple feet higher the pigs were handed out four or five feet up.  My dad said Charlie took a pig in each hand and carried at the same height where they were handed to him.  So his hands were closer to his chin than hips.  The rest of us carried the pigs with our arms stretched straight down (and for a particular little girl that was a challenge).  But, he was stout and carried the pigs up high easily like weights, at least at first.

I remember Charlie always being friendly, smiling and working hard.  While we’re reminiscing, I also remember being small enough (before Charlie helped) that I thought some of the pig pens were like twenty feet high!

I’ve been praying for their family and I will continue to do so.  Prayer changes things.  I’ve lived that.

I offered to talk to his wife if she would like down the road.  You might wonder what I’ll tell her.  Here’s a little of the stuff that I want her to know, eventually.  For a while after my husband passed away people did a great job of being there, bringing dinner, taking care of everything that I needed.  Then came the slow transition to independence.  I’m undeniably type A on the personality scale, organized, to-do lists litter my house.  If people promised to come over I wrote it down on my calendar.  I remember a particular evening when my calendar was empty.   I remember driving home from work, being almost home and recalling the empty calendar.  I remember feeling like I was going to completely break inside, like a sheet of glass shattered in little pieces on the ground.  I remember thinking but what will I eat, how will I take care of Henry, I don’t have ANY energy left for even basic survival.  Within seconds my cell phone rang, “Hi Jen this is Paula.  I’m about to run through Wendy’s on my way over what can I bring you?”

I remember a friend brought me a couple grocery bags of baby supplies and stuff to the funeral home.  I remember looking through it thinking I don’t even use some of this, but I put it aside for later.  Wouldn’t you know several weeks later the Little infant Farmer was really constipated and a doctor recommended a special kind of cereal.  Wouldn’t you know that special cereal that I had never used was in those bags.

I needed flexible, affordable childcare.  Wouldn’t you know multiple people have come forward and helped provide for our needs over the past five years.

People that have spent much time with me can attest to the fact that I have lots of needs.  The people that I work with might really offer some sarcastic examples at this point.  All jokes aside the bottom line is God has provided for my every need.  God has given me the strength and energy to do the things that I have needed to do, for myself and my son.  Of course I’ve wanted more strength and energy, to do things that I want to do.  Wants and needs are different and God has provided for me what I need in His eyes.  It has forced me to focus, prioritize and cut out some fat.  I hope all of this has enabled me to play a stronger role in His bigger plan.  And I think that’s what will matter most when I face my final day on earth.

And a few or several months down the road after she’s had a chance to heal I’ll suggest she read Heaven.  I read that down the road when I couldn’t sleep and I got a lot from it.  I also read the Bible late at night when I couldn’t sleep, and I pray.

Almost 50% of married people will loose a spouse at sometime.  Now that we have that in common I hope I can help.  And if we do we’ll talk about a lot more stuff I wouldn’t write here.

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 NASB